I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Science answers the important questions: Why you’ll still have room for pie after turkey and stuffing. Related, The Turkey-Tryptophan Myth.
Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to be thankful for - annually, not oftener - if they had succeeded in exterminating their neighbors, the Indians, during the previous twelve months, instead of getting exterminated by their neighbors, the Indians. Thanksgiving Day became a habit, for the reason that in the course of time, as the years drifted on, it was perceived that the exterminating had ceased to be mutual and was all on the white man's side, consequently on the Lord's side; hence it was proper to thank the Lord for it and to extend the usual annual compliments.~ Mark Twain Autobiography
WKRP Turkey Drop episode: "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"
Gratius animus est una virtus non solum maxima, sed etiam mater virtutum omnium reliquaram.
~ Marcus Tullius Cicero, Oratio pro Cnaeo Plancio, 23
A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the mother of all other virtues.
Turkey fryer alert: 86 year old man deep fries own leg. Or as he calls it, his drumstick.
Tutorial: How to draw a turkey.
Pi vs Pie.
Most commercial turkeys are conceived via artificial insemination. And Turkey Prices Have Been Exploding In The Last Decade.