Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Things no man ever said...

Lady, please take your head out of my crotch.

Is this ball game ever going to be over?

That sounds like an awful lot of money for a power saw.

Duct tape won't fix that.

Little Debbie snacks have too many fat grams.

Her breasts are just too big.

Sometimes I just want to be held.

Let's stop and ask for directions.

That chick on Murder She Wrote gives me a woody.

Our team lost 10-1. But we tried our best, and after all, that's the important thing.

I can't stop fantasizing about Dr. Ruth!

Gosh, honey, I should have listened to you, in the first place.

I think those big, jacked-up trucks look ridiculous.

Want all my tools? I just realized I never do anything useful with them!

I'm deeply offended by young women who go bra-less.

Hell with Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.

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