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Thursday, November 27, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving links

'A Day of Thanksgiving and Praise': Remembering President Lincoln's 1863 Thanksgiving proclamation.

The Weirdest Incidents Involving Wild Turkeys This Week.

A definitive ranking of Thanksgiving sides, taking into account the availability theorem and the leftover theorem.

The Onion's 11 Steps For Cooking A PERFECT Thanksgiving Turkey and their Comprehensive Guide To Thanksgiving.

Manly Ways to Prepare Turkey.

Have an excellent Thanksgiving, and be good to all of those people you're thankful for!

The traditional drunken turkey recipe

Step 1: Go buy a turkey

Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD

Step 3: Put turkey in the oven

Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey

Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens

Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink

Step 7: Turn oven the on

Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky

Step 9: Turk the bastey

Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get

Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer

Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey

Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours

Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick

Step 17: Turk the carvey

Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch

Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey

Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out!

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Round-up of Thanksgiving links

A Thanksgiving miscellany: Mark Twain, science, WKRP, Cicero and the best turkey fryer PSA ever.

10 Thanksgiving Words With Bizarre Origins.

In 1939, the U.S. celebrated Democrat Thanksgiving and Republican Thanksgiving.

A bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a pig: the TurBacon Epic.

What's a Wishbone, and Why Do We Crack It? Related, Tyrannosaurus Rex Had a Wishbone.

This Man Made the First Canned Cranberry Sauce.

For those of us born between the 22nd and 28th and have always wondered, here's how it works:
Thanksgiving Birthday Pattern

Thanksgiving in 1810, 1910, and 2010.

For the kids, a virtual field trip to the first Thanksgiving.

Dave Barry Thanksgiving columns from 1996, 1998, 2004... feel free to add more in the comments.

Buffy Thanksgiving episode: "Ritual sacrifice, with pie."

Christopher Walken and John Madden: The First Thanksgiving.

A Thanksgiving miscellany: Mark Twain, science, links, WKRP, Cicero and the best turkey fryer PSA ever

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

Cartoon (The Oatmeal): Thanksgiving as a kid VS Thanksgiving as an adult.

Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to be thankful for - annually, not oftener - if they had succeeded in exterminating their neighbors, the Indians, during the previous twelve months, instead of getting exterminated by their neighbors, the Indians. Thanksgiving Day became a habit, for the reason that in the course of time, as the years drifted on, it was perceived that the exterminating had ceased to be mutual and was all on the white man's side, consequently on the Lord's side; hence it was proper to thank the Lord for it and to extend the usual annual compliments.
~ Mark Twain Autobiography

WKRP Turkey Drop episode: "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

Gratius animus est una virtus non solum maxima, sed etiam mater virtutum omnium reliquaram.
~ Marcus Tullius CiceroOratio pro Cnaeo Plancio, 23
A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the mother of all other virtues.
The excellent William Shatner fried turkey PSA:

Turkey fryer alert: 86 year old man deep fries own leg. Or as he calls it, his drumstick.

Tutorial: How to draw a turkey.

Pi vs Pie.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Branco cartoon - Obama finds someone he can negotiate with

From cartoonist A.F. Branco at

What Goes on in Our Stomachs After Eating Too Much

The science of eating, and overeating:

Best quote ever?

Embedded image permalink

via @_youhadonejob

Monday links

On November 24, 1793—or what then became known as Frimaire 4, II, the revolutionary French government officially replaced the Gregorian calendar, introducing one of thirty days each, comprised of three ten-day weeks (each day lasted ten hours, or one thousand minutes, or ten thousand seconds). It was abolished by Napoleon Bonaparte in 1806.

For those of us born between the 22nd and 28th of November and have always wondered, here's how it works: Thanksgiving Birthday Pattern.

Things you can get away with if you don't have to worry about an HOA.

Unicorns Don't Really Dig Virgin Women, and Other Lessons From Medieval Bestiaries Debunked.

ICYMI, Friday's links are here, and include the Star Lord and Ronan dance-off, what to take when you time travel, the reason for thumbs, and a gallery of things you don't see every day.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Really awkward engagement photos

Wow, this guy has really white... teeth.

Is there something symbolic about these parking meters? I don't get it:

Why does she have a snake in her hand?


Well, doesn't she look happy...


More at Distractify, via Neatorama.