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Monday, August 19, 2013

Where the hell are my goddamned adult Underoos? (NSFW - language)

I've actually thought the same thing.  Read the whole article.

Fruit of the Loom, you are leaving giant piles of money on the table, and if I were a shareholder I would come into your office and beat your executives until Underoos came out. First of all, people remember and love Underoos; they love the brand, hell, thet love the name (say “underoos” out loud. It’s weirdly fun). The nostalgia that drives the pop culture product market would ensure countless sales.

Second, given the popularity of nerd culture nowadays, you’d have countless choices to stick on the shirts and underpants of today. The Avengers. Hawkeye and Black Widow. Hell, the Transformers and G.I. Joe movies. Shows like Game of Thrones, Supernatural, Arrow, etc. Open it up to videogames and the list is practically infinite.

Third, adults will buy these things, men and women alike. And children too, obviously. You don’t have to keep the girls’ sets to Wonder Woman, Daisy Duke and Barbie, like you did in the '80s, because they’re all fans of Batman and Star Wars and videogames and everything else now, too. And hell, there are more than a few guys that would happily pony up cash for a set of adult male Wonder Woman-branded Underoos, and yeah, maybe they want it for creepy purposes but the idea is still sound, dammit!

And don’t tell me that you already market pop culture-themed shirts and underwear, because I know you do. They sell pretty damn well, don’t they? Now, imagine that you sold the shirts and underpants together. Imagine that you don’t just stick Batman’s face on the buttchecks, but instead make in an underwear-themed replica of his costume. Now imagine that you called them Underoos again, bringing back the name and the brand for the nostalgia craze adult market — and then imagine you making a fuck-ton of money, from people of all ages, genders, races and creeds, because that’s what you would do.

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