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Saturday, November 29, 2014

6 way to modify your baseball bat into a zombie-killing weapon: real versions and an infographic

From the Art of Manliness blog (they also have a book by the same name) comes this excellent infographic on ways to modify baseball bats into zombie-killing weapons. It's based on a post (see below the onfo graphic) by a guy who actually made them:
Survival expert Creek Stewart of Willow Haven Outdoor decided to take a break from teaching his usual, realistic survival skills to have some fun. He let his imagination run wild and conjured up 6 ways to mod an ordinary baseball bat into the ultimate zombie slaying weapons. Creek admits that the results are absolutely ridiculous. They are also absolutely awesome. And we decided it would be equally awesome to have Ted turn them into an illustrated comic book tutorial for us. Hope you enjoy. And when the zombies attack, you’ll be ready to turn your Louisville Slugger into a walking dead decimator. Batter up!
Click here to embiggen
The infographic is based on the real bat mods from the web site Willow Haven Outdoor - the are a few here but you'll find more (and additional pictures) there.

I really wanted to make a version of the rusty spiked bat that everyone thinks of when they allow themselves to wonder about such things. However, I wanted it to be different than anything I’d ever seen before. What better way to make it different than to mount a machete to the end? So that’s what I did. A 12″ machete blade is bolted right into the end of the bat. But that’s not it. Just in case the machete blade doesn’t do the trick, eight massive steel spikes shroud the base for some extra collateral damage. I topped it off with a cobra weave wrist lanyard because I don’t want an aggressive zombie running off with my bat just in case it gets stuck. Batter up!

I call this one ‘Tina for short. Concertina wire, or popularly called razor wire, is some nasty stuff. It’s like barbed wire except instead of barbs it’s lined with razors. Typically reserved for warfare and to line the perimeter of maximum security prisons, I figured a nice nest of this stuff fence stapled around a baseball bat would be a pretty formidable zombie face smasher. Geez, I cut my hands up wearing leather welding gloves just wrapping this ‘death wire’ around the bat. I understand first hand why this stuff has such a bad reputation. I remember watching prison break movies thinking, “I bet I could crawl over that razor wire.” Well let me tell you, there ain’t no freakin’ way you’re crawling over this stuff. Concertina wire was birthed in warfare and it gives off that eerie feeling when you look at and handle it. If plants grow in hell I imagine they look like this stuff. “Hey, zombie, I want you to meet someone. Her name’s ‘Tina.”

Oooouch! With it’s roots in the Middle Ages, the Flail is absolutely barbaric. I cut the last 6″ off a normal bat, connected it to a steel chain and then studded it with archery field target points. 

This thing hurts just holding it in your hand. These target points actually screw into studs that I mounted into the wood. You could theoretically replace all of these field points with razor broad-heads if you wanted a spiked razor bat but the idea is to be able to replace damaged spikes ‘on-the-fly’ with a pocket full of extra points. The spiral wrap paracord handle gives plenty of grip when the G’s from spinning try to rip it out of your hand. The amount of momentum generated with just a couple rotations of the 5 pound spiked head is terrifying. I think this weapon could actually elicit FEAR in ZOMBIES. That’s how scary this thing is once it gets-a-spinnin’. Home Run every time – guaranteed!

Previous manly posts:

How To Gird Up Your Loins (An Illustrated Guide).

The Tactical Order of Dressing: An Illustrated Guide (as taught to military and emergency personnel).

Because it's important to always be battle-ready: How to Poop Like a Samurai.

The manliness test - how manly are you? I took it, and I'm a mewling kitten. But I'm an old, overweight female, so presumably you'll do better.

The Boy Scouts of America: Then and Now — A Comparison of the 1911 and Modern Handbooks and Merit Badges.

1 comment:

  1. You need to destroy the brain so most of these are a waste of time.