Jonah Goldberg's Odd Links Gal. Conservative Virginia Grandma.
This is brilliant, but I think you cheated a bit: I'm pretty sure the pic of Madonna has not been 'Shopped at all.
Neither has Sarah Jessica Parker. ;-)
Wonderful! It's brilliant because it rings so true. The next time you're feeling inferior to one of these Hollywood/media types, come back to this page and gain some perspective.