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Sunday, December 14, 2014

T'was the Night Before Kwanzza, and more of Kathy Shaidle's anti-Kwanzaa collection

From one of my favorite bloggers, Kathy Shaidle, who's been onto the Kwanzaa scam from the beginning:
My personal favorite is "Twas the Night Before Kwanzaa":

Ron Karenga enters courtroom where he was found guilty on four
counts. On September 17, 1971, Karenga was sentenced to
one to ten years in prison on counts of
felonious assault and false imprisonment.
'Twas the night before Kwanzaa
And all through the 'hood,
Maulana Karenga was up to no good.

He'd tortured a woman and spent time in jail.
He needed a new scam that just wouldn't fail.
("So what if I stuck some chick's toe in a vice?
Nobody said revolution was nice!")

The Sixties were over. Now what would he do?
Why, he went back to school -- so that's "Dr." to you!
He once ordered shootouts at UCLA
Now he teaches Black Studies just miles away.

Then to top it all off, the good Doctor's new plan
Was to get rid of Christmas and piss off The Man.

Karenga invented a fake holiday.
He called the thing Kwanza. "Hey, what's that you say?

"You don't get what's 'black' about Maoist baloney?
You say that my festival's totally phony?

"Who cares if corn isn't an African crop?
Who cares if our harvest's a month or two off?
Who cares if Swahili's not our mother tongue?
A lie for The Cause never hurt anyone!

"Umoja! Ujima! Kujichagulia, too!
Collectivist crap never sounded so cool!
Those guilty white liberals -- easy to fool.
Your kids will now celebrate Kwanzaa in school!"
And we heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight:
"Happy Kwanzaa to all, except if you're white!"


  1. Bwahaha! I love the graphic at the bottom.

    To my knowledge, I've never met anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa.

  2. Neither have I, but the schools certainly do. My younger daughter pulled her older son out of public school at the end of 1st grade and started homeschooling in part because of the papers his class was given at Christmastime - 0 Christmas, 1 Hanukkah, 7 Kwanzaa. Also because of academics, of course. That was 8 years ago.

  3. The joke literally came true for me yesterday. My 6-year old brought home a Kwanzaa worksheet from school. I explained that Christmas and Hanukkah are real, but that Kwanzaa is "just pretend."