Not The Onion: Vancouver bans doorknobs

The wise and forward-thinking powers that govern Vancouver's citizens have again been looking to the future. They have taken the concept of "universal design" and like a heroic football player going for a touchdown, "ran with it."

In all seriousness, starting on March 14, construction of new buildings and homes in Vancouver, Canada will be required to abide by regulations in the building code that say the doorknob, the "key" to opening and closing doors, is being phased out. A new rule has been added saying all doors and faucets in any new construction will be required to have levers.

The authors of this article seem to think it's a pretty spiffy idea:

Handicapped individuals and the aged in our population need ease of access just as much as the rest of the world. If you think about it, levers are easier to manipulate, especially if our arms are full of packages or our fingers are gnarled with arthritis.

"...making access to public buildings available to everyone and not a privileged few."

Although they aren't talking about only public buildings. No mention of whether or not big brother will allow you to have knobs on your kitchen cabinets.  

Good news - the new code is not retroactive, meaning homeowners can still buy doorknobs for their homes, if they want them.