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Showing posts with label cooking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cooking. Show all posts

Friday, November 22, 2019

The traditional drunken turkey recipe

For those of us who combine our cooking and drinking...

Step 1: Go buy a turkey

Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD

Step 3: Put turkey in the oven

Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey

Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens

Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink

Step 7: Turn oven the on

Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky

Step 9: Turk the bastey

Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get

Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer

Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey

Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours

Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick

Step 17: Turk the carvey

Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch

Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey

Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out!

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Thursday links

This Bill of Mortality shows the death tally of all city parishes in London for the week of Aug 15 - 22, 1665. The Plague is the number 1 cause of death, followed by various fevers, consumption, and Griping in the Guts.

From 1822 - Kite-Drawn Carriages.

A short history of the master bathroom.

Scorpions are almost always milked by hand, which is why their venom is worth $39 million per gallon.


How Much Money Do You Save by Cooking at Home?

ICYMI, Monday's links are here, and include Stonewall Jackson's birthday (and his left arm's separate grave),  how duct tape is made, life in ancient Mongolia, Britain's worst ice skating accident,(which left 41 dead), and that time the doctors pumped 15 cans of beer into a patient's body.

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Thursday links

For Aldous Huxley's birthday, here's an infographic of Huxley vs Orwell, a letter from Huxley to Orwell explaining why he (Huxley) was right, and audio of Huxley narrating Brave New World.

The Instant Pot of the 1600s Was Known as the Digester of Bones.


Physics is allowing us to read scrolls from Pompeii.

Apparently, cutting hair with fire is a thing.


ICYMI, Wednesday's links are here, and include 17th century infertility remedies, how tech's richest plan to save themselves after the apocalypse, what happens to Sherlock Holmes mail, and, for NatGeo's Shark Week: the Batman 1966 Shark Repellent Bat Spray scene.

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Thursday links

June 28 is the anniversary of both the event that started (the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria and his wife - heirs to the Austrian throne) and the treaty that ended World War One


DARPA Literally Reinvented the Wheel.

Want your vagina steam-cleaned but don't have a spa nearby? Here are the do-it-yourself instructions.

WHO (World Health Organization) warns you not to drink camel urine.

Bake the Best Chocolate Chip Cookies by Knowing What to Tweak.

ICYMI, Wednesday's links are here, and include Helen Keller's birthday, the science of colorful monkey butts (and a gallery), the new supervolcano is brewing under New England. and the taxpayer funding behind Domino's Extra Cheesy Pizza. 

Friday, September 1, 2017

Friday links




Apocalypse update: Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg recreate that sexy pottery-making scene from the movie Ghost.

Here's How To Actually Cook Food Over Lava.


ICYMI, Tuesday's links are here, and include Skynet self-awareness day, when margarine was contraband, everything you wanted to know about eyebrow interpretation from the 16th century, and how and when humans first discovered fire.

Friday, June 9, 2017

Friday links


What it Takes to Cook Some of Literature's Most Famous Meals.


Stunning Photos of Earth from the International Space Station.

The Wartime Spies Who Used Knitting as an Espionage Tool.

ICYMI, Thursday's links are here, and include the cut-throat world of toddler bike racing, early gas station architecture, tequila as a weight loss tool, food photography tricks, and 17th century methods for killing snakes and fleas. 

Friday, January 20, 2017

The Best Kitchen Gadget of the 1600s Was a Small, Short-Legged Dog

In the hot, smoky kitchens of 17th-century Europe, you’d find a lot of things you’d never see in kitchens today; a large open fire, an iron roasting spit, and a giant hamster wheel-like contraption holding a small, live, constantly running dog referred to as a turnspit dog (wiki).



For hundreds of years the now-extinct turnspit dog, also called Canis Vertigus (“dizzy dog”), vernepator cur, kitchen dog and turn-tyke, was specially bred just to turn a roasting mechanism for meat. And weirdly, this animal was a high-tech fixture for the professional and home cook from the 16th century until the mid-1800s.

An illustration of a turnspit dog, described in the 19th century
 as “long-bodied, crooked-legged, and ugly dogs”.
Hunks of meat were either boiled or roasted over an open fire; the latter was not only considered most delicious, but in the UK, a hallmark of proper cooking.

Unfortunately, fire was tricky to control - you couldn’t leave, say, a goose on the flame without risking an unevenly cooked dinner. To cook meat thoroughly, kitchen staff stabbed each piece with the heavy iron spike of a roasting spit, which rotated via a looped chain and hand crank. Cooking meat thoroughly on a spit takes anywhere between 40 and 80 minutes per kilo depending on which meat it is you’re cooking. Needless to say, roasting an adult hog on the fire took an incredibly long time.

Whiskey, a stuffed turnspit dog at Abergavenny Museum
Before dogs were employed, the fireplace spit was turned by the lowliest person in the kitchen staff, usually a small boy who stood behind a bale of wet hay for protection from the heat, turning the iron spit for hours and hours. although in larger households the size of the spit necessitated delegating the job to an adult. 

The job was tough, cruel and often resulted in the poor soul tasked with doing it suffering from burns, blisters and exhaustion. What made the job more difficult  was that the spitjacks, as the adults were known, had to work in full uniform. During the 16th century they made the transition from small boys and adults to dogs.  

Turnspits were ultimately replaced by steam-powered machines and by the end of the 19th century the breed officially was declared extinct.

Despite the fact that,  for a few centuries, the turnspit could be found in almost every large home in England, including the homes of royalty, nobody anywhere bothered to note down exactly what breeding process went into creating the dog that had ensured so many people had evenly cooked dinners. All we have to go on are historical descriptions of the breed which described it as “long-bodied”, “crooked-legged” and “ugly”. There's also a stuffed specimen called Whiskey (picture above).

By the way, the horrific treatment turnspits were subjected to is reportedly what inspired Henry Bergh to start the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, which in turn has resulted in countless animals being saved from abuse and cruelty.

More on turnspit dogs at Atlas Obscura, Today I Found Out, Modern Farmer and NPR.

A related post on more recent gadgets: Alton Brown's critique of Amazon's dumbest kitchen gadgets, with bonus Amazon reviews.

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Thursday links

Happy Bastille Day: Here's the classic Jonah Goldberg article on the subject.


Man Spends $51,000 On Supercomputer That Only Plays Tetris.

From Kurt Vonnegut in 1988, a letter to the Ladies & Gentlemen of A.D. 2088.


A Brief History of Trial by Combat.

ICYMI, Friday's links are here, and include Nikola Tesla's birthday, an archive of 3,000 vintage cookbooks. why the Star Trek and Star Wars universes turned out so differently, ancient Minoan culture illustrated with scantily-clad Barbies dolls.

Friday, July 8, 2016

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Video: making 18th century fried chicken

From Jas. Townsend and Son's 18th century cooking collection on youtube - they also have a website with a section devoted to 18th century recipes.
This fried chicken recipe comes from Nathan Bailey's 1736 cookbook, "Dictionarium Domesticum." This recipe calls for a marinade that is sure to surprise you. The tartness of the marinade contrasted to the sweetness of the batter really sets this dish off. We highly recommend you try this!


From the same youtube channel, if you're going to be replicating the colonial cooking process, you'll need one of these:


h/t Neatorama

Monday, April 11, 2016

Monday links

When Given Colored Construction Paper, Wasps Build Rainbow Colored Nests.

Goat Rituals and Tree-Trunk Gravestones: The Peculiar History of Life Insurance. Related: How Maritime Insurance Built Ancient Rome.


Advice from 1658: How to Give Up Wine.


How To Dress For Success And To Get A Man: A 1967 Guide. Related, "Women are teachable": 1940's booklet to “assist male bosses in supervising their new female employees"

ICYMI, Friday's links are here, and include the tax implications of the zombie apocalypse, a gallery of vintage mechanical calculators, the British plan for a chicken-heated nuclear bomb. a giant flesh-eating koala , and why UPS trucks don't turn left.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Thursday links

Remember the song El Paso from the Breaking Bad finale? Here's Steve Martin (in 1980) acting it out with a bunch of monkeys.



Turkey’s top religious body allows use of toilet paper.

Old School Bikinis: A Brief Compendium of the Itsy Bitsy.

The Duchess of Windsor Cook Book 1942: Pork Cake and Mrs. Hitler (Adolph's sister-in-law).

ICYMI, Friday's links are here, and include dogs training their humans to keep petting, what happens when you crack your knuckles (including the researcher who cracked the knuckles in one hand only for over 60 years to see if he'd get arthritis), and 19th century measles mortality maps.


Sunday, December 14, 2014

Christmas gift suggestion: "the gold standard of genital grease burn protection"

Like to cook bacon in your birthday suit? The makers of a new product insist you need protection in that sensitive area.

Behold, the Naked Bacon Cooking Armor.
...he hopes the groin protector will also inspire those who do their sizzling with clothes on to take them off.
"We’re just opening the door," he said. "With any luck you step through it because happiness is waiting on the other side."
Esch and co-founder Dave Lefkow assure that the product is real. It has a real price tag, too: $14.99 plus shipping and handling.
But the two, who also developed Baconlube, thankfully treat the Naked Bacon Cooking Armor like a novelty. (Otherwise, we'd be worried.)
More at HuffPo. 

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Thursday links

Thieving squirrel stymied by vaseline-covered pole, plus squirrel-launching compilation

What do airlines owe you when you’re stranded?

The Cornell Professor Who Gave Us the Chicken Nugget.

Cookie Monster’s famous cookie dough recipe.

Seals carried tuberculosis across the Atlantic and gave it to humans - the disease was present in the Americas prior to European contact.

11 Smells That Are Slowly Disappearing.

ICYMI, Monday's links are here, including creepy superheroes, the worst 20th century technological screwups. hand-cut paper art, and ridiculous Japanese products.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Friday links

Infographic: Aldous Huxley Vs George Orwell, plus here's Aldous Huxley Narrating Brave New World (with a musical score by Bernard Herrmann).

How To Cook With Lava: A Video Tutorial.

The 30 Best Dr. Seuss Mashups on the Internet.

Behold Apple’s hilariously awful fashion line of 1986.

ICYMI, Wednesday's links are here, and include Miss USA 1921 vs 2014, weaponized rabbit poo, a 3 year old Russian drummer playing with an orchestra, and 33 pictures taken at exactly the right moment.