Iowahawk: Overseas-Contingencies-Kinetic-Aliocious

Iowahawk hits one out of the park:

In trying to explain himself when bombing foreign lands,
It behooves a modern president to keep his prose in hand.
One little slip in lexicon accounting for the rubble
Will end up in congressional investigative trouble.

Ohhhhhh!
Overseas-contingencies-kinetic-aliocious
I must admit the messaging is really quite atrocious
But if you say it soft enough, you'll always sound precocious,
Overseascontingencieskineticaliocious!

Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

In olden days they called this thing a stale three-letter word
But in this new millenium I find that quite absurd.
My unabridge-ed thesaurus is dog-eared through and through,
One syllable seems pitiful when thirteen more will do!

Ohhhhhhh!
Overseascontingencieskineticaliocious,
When you put it in that way it won't seem so ferocious.
Gargle first with Listerine in case of halitosis,
Overseascontingencieskineticaliocious!

Um-twiddle-diddle-um-twiddle dee
Um-twiddle-diddle-um-twiddle dum

Unlike Bush adventurism, there's no "war" to fear
It's um... it's er... it's uh... it's mmm... let me be crystal clear
In days not weeks we cease it all, for "peace," or as you know,
Suoicilacitenikeicnegnitnocsaesrevo.

Ohhhhhh!
Overseascontingencieskineticaliocious
A neologic tailor-made for media hypnosis
If you hear it long enough you'll drink until cirrhosis,
Overseascontingencieskineticaliocious!*

Former NHS director dies after surgery canceled 4 times

Socialized medicine story of the day:

A former NHS director died after waiting for nine months for an operation - at her own hospital.

Margaret Hutchon, a former mayor, had been waiting since last June for a follow-up stomach operation at Broomfield Hospital in Chelmsford, Essex.

But her appointments to go under the knife were cancelled four times and she barely regained consciousness after finally having surgery.

Ambrose Bierce on April Fool's day

From the Devil's Dictionary:

April Fool, n.  The March fool with another month added to his folly.

2011 Budget Battle in Perspective

At Cato:

There are news reports that Republican and Democrat negotiators are heading toward a compromise figure of $33 billion in spending cuts. Let’s put that figure in perspective alongside the GOP’s original proposal to cut a whopping $61 billion:

Man subsists on beer only for Lent

Liquid bread.

Jonah Goldberg: Taking Feminism Overseas

At NRO:  The good news for those who want to continue the fight for women is that there is plenty of work left to do — abroad.

The plight of women in other countries is not only dire, it’s central to global poverty and the war on terrorism. Jihadism is largely a male problem. This shouldn’t be a surprise, given that jihadis commit mass murder in pursuit of a virgin bonus in the afterlife.

Islamist extremism and oppression of women go hand in hand. And while the correlation between poverty and terrorism is often overstated, the correlation between prosperity and women’s liberation is profound.

ObamaCare Implementation Meets Resistance in More States

Cato: Republican governors Rick Scott (FL), Sean Parnell (AK), and Bobby Jindal (LA) have flatly refused to implement ObamaCare.  Efforts to create an ObamaCare health insurance "Exchange" are meeting resistance in other states too.

Friday stuff

Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes of All Time.

Tomorrow is International Pillow Fight Day.

Scientific breakdown of a Bloody Mary.

Sex change chicken.

Explaining Japan's nuclear problem to kids.

Mechanical Engineer Explains the Secrets of the Wiffle Ball.

Video: 12 year old trick shot quarterback.

Headline of the day: Staten Island man set pregnant ex-girlfriend's apartment ablaze in bizarre fecal rampage.

How Elephant Vasectomies are done.

X-ray machine from 1896 compared to modern version.

In the "things that seem like a bad idea the next morning" category, super gluing a miniature fedora to the side of your head.  Related, Creator of Super Glue dies.

Umbilical cord phone charger.

Number of vasectomies spikes during March Madness.

Lightsaber badminton.

LEGO Alphabet Spaceships A-Z.

Eight million mummified dogs uncovered in Egyptian desert.

The geometry of musical scales.

Schwartzenegger's next career phase

Behold The Governator.

2010 Census: Growth Above Average in No Income Tax States and Right to Work States

Michael Barone: The lesson is that high taxes and strong public employee unions tend to stifle growth and produce a two-tier society like coastal California's.

The eight states with no state income tax grew 18 percent in the last decade. The other states (including the District of Columbia) grew just 8 percent.

The 22 states with right-to-work laws grew 15 percent in the last decade. The other states grew just 6 percent.

The 16 states where collective bargaining with public employees is not required grew 15 percent in the last decade. The other states grew 7 percent.