Respected Science Magazine Cites The Onion's Groundbreaking Research

News organizations treating The Onion's satire as reality is nothing new, but there's an especially tragic quality to the error when the dupe is one of the oldest science magazines in the country.

Mean kids from Children Of The Corn IV

I posted this article from Discover, based on this legitimate study from neuroscientist Simone Shamay-Tsoory, as part of a set of links a couple of weeks ago: Even toddlers experience schadenfreude. 

On Wednesday, Science News posted this piece, in which they incorporated not only the real study cited by Discover, but a 2009 article from The Onion entitled "New Study Reveals Most Children Unrepentant Sociopaths":

A study published Monday in The Journal Of Child Psychology And Psychiatry has concluded that an estimated 98 percent of children under the age of 10 are remorseless sociopaths... 

According to renowned child psychologist Dr. Pritha Singh, author of Born Without Souls, diagnosing preadolecents as sociopaths is primarily a theoretical interest, as the disorder is considered untreatable.

"We've tried behavior modification therapies, but children actually learn from our techniques and become even more adept at manipulating others while concealing their shameless misanthropy," Singh said. "Sadly, experience has taught us there is little hope for rehabilitation."

After readers recognized the blunder, Science News scrubbed the citation, failing to note any correction had taken place. Of course, in a Google cache world, all deletions are strictly hypothetical.

via Gawker

Friday links

Male contraceptive news: just wear a polyester sling, and let the heat and the electrostatics do all the work.

The Man Who Saved Over Two Million Lives via a Genetic Quirk.

World’s longest dinosaur poo is 40 inches long and could fetch $10,000 at auction.

France preemptively surrenders? British inventor builds giant 'fart machine' to fire at France (video).

Amazing Balloon Sculptures from the World Balloon Convention.

Top 10 Heists And Robberies.

ICYMI, Wednesday's links are here, and include movie dance supercuts, small typos that totally change the meaning of things, an excellent photo gallery of (very) little kids and their (very) big dogs), and, because zombies also want to survive, a zombie survival guide.

France preemptively surrenders? British inventor builds giant 'fart machine' to fire at France (video)

My favorite bit: 

The machine, which Furze will house in a pair of specially constructed buttocks...

This is the same guy who made the wrist-mounted X-Men Pyro flamethrowers, retractable Wolverine claws, and Magneto shoes.

Colin Furze, a plumber and inventor from Stamford, Lincolnshire, has begun building the biggest fart machine ever, which he plans to place on top of the cliffs of Dover and aim across the Channel towards France. His hope is that the French, 21 miles away, will hear the blast.

The machine, which Furze will house in a pair of specially constructed buttocks, is a giant pulse valveless jet engine – as used in Nazi V-1 bombs during the Second World War – that creates a plume of fire to go along with its deafening roar. Furze hopes to mount the contraption on the cliffs of Dover on July 24, between 6 and 7pm.

Furze's previous homemade inventions include a pair of pneumatic 'Wolverine' claws, magnetic 'Magneto' shoes, hand-mounted 'Pyro' flame-throwers (all inspired by the X-Men films), a 50 mph baby pram, and a fire-spurting mobility scooter. All can be seen in action on his YouTube channel. In his own words, Furze has been "turning the internet up to 11 since 2006".

Spoof of movies based on 80's toys: Literally Everything Else From Your Childhood: The Movie

Parody movie trailer from The Wil Wheaton Project:

Reminds me of this excellent live-action trailer from a few years ago - My Little Pony: Reign of Buttercup Sprinkles.

What if Every Little Girls Dream Became Mankind's Worse Nightmare?

via Neatorama

Dogs vs physics: compilation video of dogs trying to get big sticks through doors

Wednesday links

Supercuts of Memorable Dance Scenes in Movies.

Small Typos That Totally Change The Meaning Of Things.

This photo gallery will make you smile: Little Kids And Their Big Dogs.

A new video zombie survival guide made by zombies for zombies, with bonus big roundup of zombie links. Also, zombies.

Hollywood’s Iconic Gone with the Wind Movie Set has been hiding in a Barn for Decades.

How long could the human race survive on only cannibalism?

Pictorial Record of North American Indian Tribes in the Early 1900s.

ICYMI, Monday's links are here, and include the history of air conditioning, how to access someone's home with a picture of their key, reviews for Amazon's listing of Tolkien's One Ring (which they say is a Lord's Prayer ring), and the world's largest aquatic insect (with an 8.3 inch wingspan) discovered in China.

A new video zombie survival guide made by zombies for zombies, with bonus roundup of zombie links

You always see survival guides showing us how to get through the zombie apocalypse, but advice for the zombies themselves is less common (although not entirely unavailable). Here at last is a short instructional video made by zombies for zombies:

Zombie Survival Guide from Bettina on Vimeo.


Related posts and links:

Loyal Dog Of The Zombie Apocalypse Just Wants to Find His Boy

Death and Taxes... and Zombies: Tax implications of the zombie apocalypse and, related, Economics of the Undead: Zombies, Vampires and the Dismal Science.

This trailer for Zombeavers makes Sharknado look realistic and well acted.

The Pentagon is dead serious about its fake zombie apocalypse plan.

Analysis: The Best and Worst States for Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse.

The most comprehensive zombie classification chart ever.

The Walking Dead virus: the microbiology of zombies.

The Real-Life Neuroscience Behind Zombies.

Zombies vs. animals? The living dead wouldn't stand a chance.

Excellent running-away-from-the-zombies car battery commercial

Zombified, An Interactive Behind the Scenes Look at How Zombies Are Created on The Walking Dead.

Full Length Zombie Movie Made By Physics Students At CERN: Does the Higgs Boson particle really turn people into zombies?

Bikinis and zombies: the making of the 2013 Walking Dead swimsuit calendar

The neuroscience of zombies, via TED-Ed.

Undead Disney Princesses: Snow White, Ariel & Cinderella as Zombies.

Is the stench of massed zombies toxic?

Making zombies is against the law in Haiti.

'Walking corpse syndrome': mental disorder wherein people think they're zombies.

via Kuriasitas

105-Year-Old Agnes McKee Threw Out an Impressive First Pitch at Sunday's Mets-Padres Game in San Diego

Here's Agnes describing the experience in an interview with KSWB-San Diego:

via Tastefully Offensive

Supercuts of Memorable Dance Scenes in Movies

Part 1:



Part 2:



Part 3: I think they were running out of good stuff, and the background music sucks, but here ya go:



And last but not least, from the archives, this supercut of Christopher Walken dancing in over 50 movies will still make your day:


Christopher Walken supercut : Dance Now by mistersexybuzz

Weird Al Yankovic's grammar nazi parody of "Blurred Lines" is entitled "Word Crimes", and it's a hoot

Weird Al fans, you'll appreciate this:



For comparison, here's the original video for Blurred Lines, which is pretty racy but less so than the (NSFW) explicit version here.

Monday links

History of air conditioning: invention, historical reactions, Arthur Miller column on the days before its invention, more.

Want access to someone's home? All you need to do is take a picture of their key with your phone.

Amazon Is Selling Tolkien's One Ring as a Lord's Prayer Ring with Arabic text - check out the reviews.

World's largest—and grossest—aquatic insect discovered in China.

Economics of the Undead: Zombies, Vampires and the Dismal Science. Related: Death and Taxes... and Zombies: Tax implications of the zombie apocalypse.

1936-1939: Tiznaos, improvised armored cars of the Spanish civil war.

ICYMI, Friday's links are here, including attempts to patent the wheel, the aerodynamics of hummingbirds, contact lens version of Google Glasses, and an answer to the age-old question: Why is your brain in your head instead tucked away safe and warm down with all your other organs?

Compilation: Dogs Confused by Glass Tables

Today's entry in the "Headline Better Than Story" category: Blue tits make home inside pig's head

Prepare to be disappointed - but is that a great headline, or what?

A family of blue tits have made their nest in an unusual spot - inside the nose of a ceramic pig's head.

Married couple Andrew and Lisa Dowden have had the pig's head in their garden for over seven years and it was never intended as a nesting site.

But a pair of blue tits took a fancy to the unusual garden ornament, in Sandown, Isle of Wight, and moved in.

Read the whole thing at Quirkies.

This guy set his uncle’s house on fire because it had goblins

Mike Musiiwa of Mutadzo Village pleaded guilty to arson before Masvingo provincial magistrate Sibonginkosi Mkandla.

He was remanded in custody to today for sentence.

Musiiwa took advantage of his uncle, Alick Malendele’s absence to torch the house resulting in the destruction of property worth about $1,000.

He was spotted torching the thatched house by a fellow villager, Marita Raisi who rushed to alert Malendele.

A report was made at Renco police leading to Musiiwa’s arrest and his subsequent appearance in court. Magistrate Mkandla said Musiiwa had no right to torch his uncle’s house.

In his defence, Musiiwa said he set the house on fire because he had proved that his uncle was bewitching him using his goblins.

“I am a sangoma who has helped a number of people by exorcising evil spirits and destroying witches’ goblins. I went into a mountain and started counting stones, which are the tools I use in carrying my duties. One of the stones helped me identify my tormentor. My uncle had been attempting to cast a bad spell on me and other family members using goblins that I later destroyed when I set his house on fire. I knew that there was no one in the house who could be harmed.

Sangomas greeting each other

“I just wanted to destroy his goblins, which I did,” said Musiiwa showing no signs of remorse.

Fidelicy Nyamukondiwa for the state said Musiiwa took advantage of his uncle’s absence and proceeded to his homestead in the same village where upon arrival he set the house on fire.

Property destroyed included blankets, a 12 volts battery, 50 kg of compound D fertilizer, two wooden doors, 50 kg of wheat, 20 kg of mealie-meal, 40 kg of sorghum, two home theatre speakers, two bibles, seven birth certificates, two monarch bags with various clothing and $412.

Musiiwa had an altercation with Malendele, 40, over the same issue sometime between 2012 and 2013. Chronicle

Amazon Is Selling the One Ring as a Lord's Prayer Ring with Arabic text - check out the reviews

Tolkien fans, check out this Amazon.com listing, which describes this ring as being inscribed with the Lord's Prayer in Arabic. It's not Arabic, of course, but Elvish.

The customer reviews seem to indicate that it is most likely the One Ring from The Lord of the Rings - I've copied a few below but you can see them all here.

Totally awesome, but minor flaw

By Edward Martin III on February 15, 2014
I like that this ring makes me invisible, because finally I can just walk around wearing nothing but sunbeams and frustration.
But on the downside, I've been moody and irritable and murderous lately.

Exactly what I wanted

By Beth Belch on February 15, 2014
Lovely ring. Well made. I'm only giving it a 4, because it is a little uncomfortable. But my plans for world domination are now coming along quite nicely. The included power to command the wraiths has been very convenient.

Not what I expected

By Blue on February 14, 2014
I bought this as a prayer ring for reciting the Lord's Prayer before bed, as you do. But when I put it on and read the words out loud, I found myself standing at the food of a large tower, staring up at a flaming eye. God doesn't look like I thought He would. I'm still giving this three stars though, because the script is pretty.

A great birthday present! 

By NBSteve on February 15, 2014
I bought this ring for my husband and they had it in just his size. I thought he'd love the writing on it, but the writing was very hard to see. When it arrived, on my birthday none-the-less, it looked a bit small, so I tried it on and discovered it fit me perfectly! Well, that meant it would never fit him, so I decided to return it... but because it was a Sunday, I had to wait a day. Well, I'm glad for the delay because I decided to try it on again the next day and I've been wearing it ever since! I love it, and it came to me after all, so why shouldn't I keep it? It's very precious to me.

via Neatorama