The traditional drunken turkey recipe

For those of us who combine our cooking and drinking...

Step 1: Go buy a turkey

Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD

Step 3: Put turkey in the oven

Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey

Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens

Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink

Step 7: Turn oven the on

Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky

Step 9: Turk the bastey

Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get

Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer

Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey

Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours

Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick

Step 17: Turk the carvey

Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch

Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey

Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out!

Friday links

A few ruminations on growing old, plus the Thanksgiving birthday pattern.

How Elephant Poop Becomes Fancy Paper in Sri Lanka.

The History of Ken Doll's Crotch.

A Scientific Look at How Female Turkeys Choose Their Mates (and get rid of the rejects). Plus, artificial insemination.

The Starling and Falcon Dance.

Criminal decides to break into the house of an experienced medieval combat re-enactor, who keeps a carbon-steel double-headed battle axe that he calls, "my baby": "Police K-9s followed the trail of blood to apprehend the suspect."

ICYMI, most recent links are here, and include the chemicals that give autumn leaves their colors, why ice is slippery, exploring an old mental hospital, and an 18th century guide to hunting vampires.