Happy Thanksgiving links

Time to invite the neighbors to dinner, kill them, and take their land. 

Here's a huge roundup of Thanksgiving links: how turkey got its name, why the Lions and Cowboys always play, Ben Franklin's account of the first Thanksgiving, Buffy Thanksgiving episode ("ritual sacrifice, with pie"), Mark Twain, science, the Thanksgiving birthday pattern, WKRP turkey giveaway ("as God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"), Cicero, the best turkey fryer PSA ever, and lots more.

'A Day of Thanksgiving and Praise': Remembering President Lincoln's 1863 Thanksgiving proclamation.

Weird Incidents Involving Wild Turkeys, and a Scientific Look at How Female Turkeys Choose Their Mates (and avoid the unwanted ones).

The traditional drunken turkey recipe.

Calls from the Butterball Turkey help-line, and here's the Butterball Turkey help-line help-line.

A definitive ranking of Thanksgiving sides, taking into account the availability theorem and the leftover theorem. Related, this map of side dishes by region.

The Onion's 11 Steps For Cooking a Perfect Thanksgiving Turkey and their Comprehensive Guide To Thanksgiving.

Manly Ways to Prepare Turkey. Related: Video: Watch this guy cook a turkey using Lamborghini exhaust fire.

From the American Chemical Society: What Happens When You Eat Too Much?

This woman is named Happy Thanksgiving.

Have an excellent Thanksgiving, and be good to all of those people you're thankful for!