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Saturday, November 10, 2012

Sh%t Southern Women Say

VDH: Will the American spirit, like German industriousness, override socialist redistribution, or succumb to it?

Read the whole thing at PJM

The crux for the next four years is whether we become California or transform intoa sort of socialist Germany, where the work ethic, fiscal sobriety, and ingenuity trump counter-productive energy and social policies. In other words, will the frackers, horizontal drillers, farmers, engineers, Silicon Valley, Napa Valley, the American farm belt, the coal industry, Boeing, Apple, and Caterpillar just keep chugging along, pulling the rest of us into the accustomed prosperity despite, rather than because of, us?

TSA officers spend more taxpayer money on uniforms per year than a US Marine lieutenant can spend in a lifetime

At Instapundit:

Under their new collective bargaining agreement, Transportation Security Administration officers get to spend more taxpayer money on their uniforms every year than a United States Marine Corps lieutenant can spend in a lifetime.

“TSA employees will see their uniform allowances nearly double to $446 per year,” the House Transportation Committee noted in a press release on the TSA’s new collective bargaining agreement. “By comparison, a combat Marine Lieutenant receives a one-time uniform allowance of $400. The cost of the increase in TSA uniform allowance is an estimated $9.63 million annually.”

Rep. John Mica, R-Fla., faulted TSA for failing to streamline its bureaucracy or address criticism of security failures, such as the recent inspector general report on the failure to screen checked baggage at the airport in Honolulu, Hawaii.

For Thanksgiving dinner: the TurBacon Epic

From Epic Mealtime: A bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a pig:

As a bonus, Fast Food Lasagna:

Veterans/Armistice/Remembrance Day reading links

Today is Veterans Day, Remembrance Day, or Armistice Day, depending on where you live.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Mark Steyn: The Edge of the Abyss

The question is whether the Brokest Nation in History is capable of meaningful course correction. On Tuesday, the American people answered that question. The rest of the world will make its dispositions accordingly.

If you add up the total debt — state, local, the works — every man, woman, and child in this country owes 200 grand (which is rather more than the average Greek does). Every American family owes about three-quarters of a million bucks, or about the budget deficit of Liechtenstein, which has the highest GDP per capita in the world. Which means that HRH Prince Hans-Adam II can afford it rather more easily than Bud and Cindy at 27b Elm Street. In 2009, the Democrats became the first government in the history of the planet to establish annual trillion-dollar deficits as a permanent feature of life. Before the end of Obama’s second term, the federal debt alone will hit $20 trillion. That ought to have been the central fact of this election — that Americans are the brokest brokey-broke losers who ever lived, and it’s time to do something about it.

The short version of electoral cycles is as follows: The low-turnout midterms are fought in political terms, and thus Republicans do well and sometimes spectacularly well (1994, 2010); the higher-turnout presidential elections are fought in broader cultural terms, and Republicans do poorly, because they’ve ceded most of the cultural space to the other side. What’s more likely to determine the course of your nation’s destiny? A narrow focus on robocalls in selected Florida and New Hampshire counties every other fall? Or determining how all the great questions are framed from the classroom to the iPod to the movie screen in the 729 days between elections?

New Zealand sports update: Kiwis race with bulls' testicles in their teeth

Gutsy contestants at the Shepherd's Shemozzle in Hunterville, New Zealand, had to run 50 metres with a bull's testicle in their mouth.

The bizarre challenge was only part of the endurance competition, in which entrants also had to down dry Weetabix and a raw egg, washed down with a can of beer.

Fifty-six competitors ran out of the Hunterville Town Hall last Saturday, racing to find and claim their dogs before heading to the nearest high hill for the lineup of culinary delights.

This year's winner, Josh Masters, said he had never carried a bull's testicle in his mouth before – but he claimed that it was "not too bad".

"Best of all, they weren't connected to anything," he said. Mr Masters won a jacket for his efforts and his dog, Scruff, was awarded with a bag of dog biscuits.

The competition was marred this year by a rumour that one spectator ate a raw testicle. Organisers refused to comment on the tale, saying only that they tasted "lovely" cooked.

Wedding portrait taken 88 years late

This Chinese couple had to wait a record 88 years until they finally got the picture to remember their special day.

Centenarian couple Wu Conghan, and Wu Sognshi married in Sichuan province, China in 1924 and never had their wedding photo taken - until now.  More pictures here.

Baby Platypuses

15 pictures at Buzzfeed.

Supreme Court of Canada voids Viagra patent

The Supreme Court of Canada this morning shocked the pharmaceutical industry by voiding Pfizer's patent in Canada for Viagra. The unanimous decision provides a strong reaffirmation of the policy behind patent law, namely that patents represent a quid pro quo bargain of public disclosure of inventions in return for a time limited monopoly in the invention. The Supreme Court describes it in this way:

"The patent system is based on a "bargain", or quid pro quo: the inventor is granted exclusive rights in a new and useful invention for a limited period in exchange for disclosure of the invention so that society can benefit from this knowledge. This is the basic policy rationale underlying the Act. The patent bargain encourages innovation and advances science and technology."

Friday links

Four African teenager girls build a urine-powered generator.

Crystal meth may cure your flu.

Abacus Championships.

Is Scotch The New Wine?

South Africa: bring us 60 dead rats, get a free cell phone.

Chicken Poop Bingo.

Sucking the King’s Nipple

Homosocial nipple sucking.

About ten years ago several ancient, mummified bodies were found in an Irish peat bog. An unusual detail of the bodies was that their nipples had been pinched and cut off. This led the archaeologist Eamonn Kelly to speculate that the bodies were those of failed kings. He explains:

I believe these men were failed kings or failed candidates for kingship who were killed and placed in bogs that formed important tribal boundaries.. Sucking a king’s nipples was a gesture of submission in ancient Ireland. Cutting them would have made him incapable of kingship.

According to the Celt Eros blog, homosocial nipple sucking was widely practiced in ancient Pagan Ireland. It was called "sughaim sine."

This typically male act stood for many things in the pagan culture of the times. In one aspect, it was used as a way to pledge loyalty, devotion and submission for a king. Among common men, it was an expression of friendship, greeting, reconciliation, affection, fealty, protection and not surprisingly, as some sources suggest, sexual stimulation and pleasure.

Edible deodorant

Daily Mail: The deodorant you eat to keep you smelling sweet.

It is received wisdom that deodorants are applied to your armpits.

Surely there is no other place for them?

You would be justified, then, in feeling more than a little bemused by a strange new invention- the edible deodorant, which keeps you 'sweet smelling' for hours.

American company Deo Perfume have created a sweet that works like deoderant

An American company called Deo Perfume Candy has created a type of sweet that releases a lingering rose scent through the pores of your skin.

Due to be launched in the UK early next year, one mouthful of the tangerine-flavoured sweets will apparently keep you smelling of roses for up to six hours.

They've already been a great success in America, despite their price- a small bag costs $10 (£6.25).

The sweets contain chemical compounds that cannot be broken down by the body and so are excreted through the skin

The main ingredient, which provides the floral scent, is geraniol- a naturally occurring compound that us found in roses, lavender and vanilla.

Garlic also contains similar chemicals that cannot be broken down by the body- but mercifully the candy will leave you smelling rather sweeter than if you'd chomped down on a clove or three.

LA Weekly Interviews Patterico About His SWATting

SWATting, a Deadly Political Game

DA Patrick Frey's enemies called 911, saying he'd shot his wife. 

The deputy DA believes his widely followed revelations about Weiner's online escapades made Frey the target of a dangerous, unnerving hoax: a false 911 call that put Frey, his wife, Christi —a high-end sex-crimes prosecutor for the District Attorney — and his two young children in the crosshairs of armed officers from the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Natural Harvest - A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food.

This book hopes to change that. 

Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!

Research paper: “Toll House” Recipe Cookies Do Not Maintain Their Morphology Under Heat Stress Conditions

We investigated the morphological behavior of chocolate chip cookies.


We confirm the qualitative analysis that dough both spreads and loses integrity of hard corners due to heat shock (see Figures 1a and 1b).

The dough is a suspension of starch, sucrose and lipid-based chips in butterfat, which is subjected to pretreatment and post-treatment by heat. Application of heat appears to alter morphology of the suspension, resulting in more spread and smoother-edged objects.

In addition, quantification of changes in absolute area and circularity confirm that dough loses its morphometric integrity when heated to 375 degrees F. Absolute area change is an index of spreading. All specimens spread typically by more than 100 percent each. Circularity is an index of variation from a perfect circle where 1 = perfect circle and, for our uses as it is known that area increases over time, 0 = perimeter approaching infinity. Circularity increases by approximately 25 percent which indicates the smoothing and loss of detailed edge features. Unfortunately, we were unable to establish a 1:1 correlation between area change and increase of circularity in individual specimens; however, the population study of each parameter isolated from the other is compelling

Illuminati celebrate election victory

Obama’s victory has brought the tyrannical New World Order a step closer, according to the Illuminati.

Paganini's Violin Concert Performed With Facial Expressions

This is really sappy...

But I love the picture.

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Melbourne .. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Cranky Old Man.....
What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!

7 Dwarves of Old Age

Here it comes–a carbon tax

Obama May Levy Carbon Tax to Cut the U.S. Deficit.

Jonah Goldberg: Against Despair

Maybe things will work out better than I expect with another four years of Barack Obama in the White House. Crazier things have happened.

But that’s not how I’d bet.

My only real counsel for the moment is against despair. Despair is the gateway drug to cynicism and Nockian indifference. Our problems are too great and our cause too just for that. There is time to take a time out and have a drink (or fifty). But it’s worth remembering that the cause is only lost if you leave it and choose to never find it again. “Never despair,” Edmund Burke allegedly said, “but if you do, work in despair.” I don’t know that Burke actually said that, but whoever did was right.

How to take a beating (NSFW)

Post election, a message from Queen Elizabeth

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:


1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').


2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'


3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.


4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.


5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.


6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.


7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.


8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.


9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.


10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.


11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).


12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.


13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.


14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).


15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

via Michael Yon: "The author(s) of this hilarious message is unknown. It has been attributed to John Cleese. If Snopes is to be believed, this is untrue. The message appears to have evolved from numerous authors over time. It went viral on my Facebook with about 1 million viewers so far. Please join my Facebook:"