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Saturday, October 11, 2014

Man With Tom Brady Helmet Tattooed On His Head Is Jailed On Felony Narcotics Charge

This sounds like a pretty lame charge - $15 worth of synthetic marijuana is the felony, plus misdemeanor trespassing, per The Smoking Gun. The helmet is the best part:
As noted in the “Scars, Marks, Tatoos or other distinguishing features” section of the report, Thompson has “Tattoo Head-Patriots Football Helmet.”
Thompson had a series of tattoos inked on his head to make it appear that he is wearing a New England Patriots football helmet. Along with team logos on each side of his head, Thompson got Brady’s number 12 and the word “Patriots” inked on the back of his head. He added the name of the helmet maker (“Riddell”) on his forehead, as well as an American flag and an NFL logo.
Thompson even included the small green dot indicating that a helmet is equipped with an electronic device allowing its wearer to receive plays from the sideline.

He also had a likeness of the Super Bowl trophy tattooed on the top of his head. Additionally, his noggin features inked replicas of the signatures of players Rob Gronkowski, Wes Welker, and Randy Moss. Somehow, Thompson forgot to add Aaron Hernandez’s John Hancock to his cranium.

Heh: See if you can tell which is which: transvestite prostitute, trashy fashion model, street hooker or FLOTUS?

Friday, October 10, 2014

UK History Channel's Great Martian War 1913-17 fuses WWI footage and sci fi to create fake documentary

Per the History Channel:
On its 100th anniversary, The Great Martian War tells the story of the catastrophic events and unimaginable horrors of 1913-17, when Humankind was pitted against a savage Alien invasion.
With powerful and detailed First World War parallels, The Great Martian War fuses sci-fi fantasy with specialist factual history to explore the real-world tragedies and unique horror of World War One.
Combining period archive with state-of-the-art special effects and featuring moving interviews with aging veterans, the show takes in the entire sweep of the conflict: from the devastation of Western Europe where a rag-tag alliance digs in against monstrous Alien war-machines unaware that deep flaws exist in their Generals’ central strategy, to the political battle for the Whitehouse where President Wilson struggles to maintain US Neutrality; from the skies of central London where allied bi-planes do spectacular battle with a towering Alien Tripod, to the War’s catastrophic final act in which the Allies, standing on the brink of total defeat, must decide if launching an untested and potentially devastating secret weapon is worth risking the lives of millions of men in the field and a global pandemic.
Here's an IMDB summary:

Documentary-drama recounting the Martian War of 1913 - 1917. Europe was on tenterhooks in the 2nd decade of the 20th century, everyone was expecting a Great War between the major European powers. But then, in 1913, something crashed into the forests of SW Germany. Troops were sent to investigate but were wiped out. Martian fighting machines began making their way across Western Europe and the countries of Europe combined forces to resist them. 

With aspects taken from The War of the Worlds (movie version here) by H.G. Wells and from WWI itself, this dramatisation presents a documentary style look at events as they unfolded and the effect they had of our world today. Lots of references to real events including the mass attacks and defeats as men were thrown against machines on the Western front, the Christmas truce and the Angel of Mons, America's isolationism and late entry into the conflict, the worldwide "Spanish" flu epidemic that killed more people than the war, and many other things.

It's not perfectly clear, but this seems to be based on a now out-of-print book from a few years ago called The Martian War: A Thrilling Eyewitness Account of the Recent Invasion As Reported by Mr. H.G. Wells.

Lots more at History Channel, via Kuriositas.

Friday links

Video: If Shakespearean Insults Were Used Today. They fit surprisingly well into your daily office routine.

ICYMI, Tuesday's links are here, and include a baby owl attacking the Go-Pro in its nest, how to dye your armpit hair blue, gorgeous before-and-after summer-to-autumn photos, the history of tattoos, and the families who have owned most of England for the last 1,000 years.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Video: If Shakespearean Insults Were Used Today

Shakespearean Insults are always fun, and you can get them on band-aids and coffee mugs, in do-it yourself insult kits, and more. This use of them in an office context is pretty well done:

Here's a day-by-day Shakespearean Insults 2015 Calendar.

This Shakespearean Insult Generator has been around since early internet days. This generate-your-own version is newer and has a heck of a lot of possibilities - choose one item from each of the four drop-down columns.

Related stuff:

Terminator the Second: Shakespeare meets Terminator 2.

What if William Shakespeare had written Star Wars?

The Merchant of Avon: What Shakespeare Teaches Us About Economics.

Mental Floss has 15 Fantastic and Filthy Shakespearean Insults.

"Verily," I say, "'tis what it's all about": The Hokey Pokey - Shakespeare's version.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Tuesday links

Baby owl attack: here's what happens when you put your Go-Pro in front of an owl's nest.

How to Dye Your Armpit Hair Blue.

Before-And-After Photos Of Autumn’s Transformations.

Video from TED-Ed: The history of tattoos.

ICYMI, Friday's links are here, including caffeinated underpants, civet poop coffee without the civets, the weirdness of surviving a lightning strike, who Disney characters dress as for Halloween.

Video from TED-Ed: The history of tattoos

They're not just for whores and sailors anymore.

An interesting look at tattoo history (wiki):

TED-Ed: If you have a tattoo, you’re part of a rich cultural history that dates back at least 8,000 years. Where did this practice of body modification come from, and how has its function changed over time? Addison Anderson tracks the history of getting inked.

Ebola cartoon of the day

via Legal Insurrection

Related: The Onion's advice on protecting yourself from ebola starts with the invariably useful Boil All Bodily Fluids Before Consumption.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Boil all bodily fluids before consumption: How To Protect Yourself Against Ebola (per The Onion)

The Onion: This week saw the first confirmed case of Ebola virus within the United States, the latest development in an outbreak that has already claimed over 3,000 lives. Here are some ways you can protect yourself against this deadly disease:
Boil all bodily fluids before consumption.
Regularly examine your DNA under an electron microscope for any indication that Ebola has attached itself to your cell membranes.
Recognize the symptoms of Ebola, which include fever, chills, and developing symptoms too late to do anything about them.
Cover the nose and mouth of Ebola patients when they sneeze to avoid spreading germs.
Avoid eating bat soup, which is actually pretty sound advice whether there’s an ongoing Ebola outbreak or not.
Ebola can only be spread once patients are symptomatic, so if you believe you’ve been exposed, get all your errands and public trips out of the way before your symptoms start showing.
Be sure to stay up to date on developments by signing up for the official CDC phone tree.
Try being born one of the 15 percent of rural Gabonese citizens with natural immunity to the virus.
Give billions of dollars to pharmaceutical companies.
If you see a suspicious-looking filamentous virus particle roughly one micron in length, stay away.
Continue following lifelong plan of avoiding Dallas, TX at all costs.
Related:  CDC Officials Announce Free Ice Cream For Everyone, Delicious Tasty Ice Cream, And Also There Is An Ebola Outbreak 

Flock of turkey vultures in my front yard (due to dead squirrel in the street)

Lady Calls Religious TV Show to Thank God for Healing Her Hamster's Diarrhea, Then It Gets Funnier

Actually a comedian named Robert Pepper

Baby owl attack: here's what happens when you put your Go-Pro in front of an owl's nest

via 22 words