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Tuesday, November 3, 2026

Some of the best newspaper corrections ever, including an excellent 2001 apology to Mark Steyn

I'm a fan of newspaper corrections - sometimes they're of the typo variety, but frequently tell you a lot about the writers, as well. That latter explanation seems to be the case with the first of these:

“The Ottawa Citizen and Southam News wish to apologize for our apology to Mark Steyn, published Oct. 22. In correcting the incorrect statements about Mr. Steyn published Oct. 15, we incorrectly published the incorrect correction. We accept and regret that our initial regrets were unacceptable and we apologize to Mr. Steyn for any distress caused by our previous apology.”
A few more - I've included attributions where I could find them, but in some cases I'm unsure of the sources:

“Last Sunday, The Herald erroneously reported that original Dolphin Johnny Holmes had been an insurance salesman in Raleigh, NC, that he had won the New York lottery in 1982 and lost the money in a land swindle, that he had been charged with vehicular homicide but acquitted because his mother said she drove the car, and that he stated that the funniest thing he ever saw was Flipper spouting water on George Wilson. Each of these items was erroneous material published inadvertently. He was not an insurance salesman in Raleigh, did not win the lottery, neither he nor his mother was charged or involved in any way with a vehicular homicide, and he made no comment about Flipper or George Wilson. The Herald regrets the errors.”


“An article on Nov. 10 about animal rights referred erroneously to an island in the Indian Ocean and to events there involving goats and endangered giant sea sparrows that could possibly lead to the killing of goats by environmental groups. Wrightson Island does not exist; both the island and the events are hypothetical figments from a book (also mentioned in the article), ”Beginning Again,” by David Ehrenfeld. No giant sea sparrow is known to be endangered by the eating habits of goats.”


“In an article on Saturday headlined ‘Flying saucers over British Scientology HQ’, we stated ‘two flat silver discs’ were seen ‘above the Church of Scientology HQ’. Following a letter from lawyers for the Church, we apologise to any alien lifeforms for linking them to Scientologists.”


“There was an error printed in a story titled ‘Pigs float down the Dawson’ on Page 11 of yesterday’s Bully. The story, by reporter Daniel Burdon, said ‘more than 30,000 pigs were floating down the Dawson River’. What Baralaba piggery owner Sid Everingham actually said was ’30 sows and pigs’, not ‘30,000 pigs’. The Morning Bulletin would like to apologise for this error, which was also reprinted in today’s Rural Weekly CQ before the mistake was known.”


“A column by Glenn Garvin on Dec. 20 stated that the National Science Foundation ‘funded a study on Jell-O wrestling at the South Pole.’ That is incorrect. The event took place during off-duty hours without NSF permission and did not involve taxpayer funds.” 

Miami Herald

“Just to keep the record straight, it was the famous Whistler’s Mother, not Hitler’s, that was exhibited at the recent meeting of the Pleasantville Methodists. There is nothing to be gained in trying to explain how the error occurred.”

Titusville (Pa.) Herald.

"A headline on an item in the Feb. 5 edition of the Enquirer-Bulletin incorrectly stated “Stolen groceries.” It should have read “Homicide.”"

Related posts and links: 

Here's How You Can Lick Doberman's Leg Sores (and other journalism bloopers)

Paper prints retraction for 1863 article calling Gettysburg address "silly remarks"; retraction written in the style of Gettysburg Address.

Monday, November 2, 2026

Here's How You Can Lick Doberman's Leg Sores (and other journalism bloopers)

From Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge, a collection of newspaper bloopers collected by the Columbia Graduate School of Journalism: 

Former President Enters Dinah Shore

Babies Are What The Mother Eats

More of us will live to be centurions

Despite our best efforts, black employment is still rising

Retired priest may marry Springsteen

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

British left waffles on Falklands

Here's How You Can Lick Doberman's Leg Sores

Sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout line at supermarket

Sharon To Press His Suit In Israel

Man minus ear waives hearing

Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years

Jerk Injures Neck, Wins Award
Students cook and serve grandparents.

Lots more here. Thanks, Charlie.

Friday links

Sunday will be Guy Fawkes Day, when God preserved us from the "secret contrivance and hellish malice of Popish Conspirators".

How Researchers Uncovered a Massive Void In The Great Pyramid of Giza.

Daylight Saving Time ends this weekend: here's DST history (including Ben Franklin's proposal), stories and video. Related: A new American revolution is starting in New England -- against Daylight Saving Time.

French Regulators Approve Human Trial of a Bionic Eye.


ICYMI, Tuesday's links were here, and consist entirely of Halloween-related stuff - history, pumpkins, costumes, and candy. 

Friday, October 23, 2026

Roundup of funny colonoscopy videos

For those of us of a certain age, who have to think about these things...

The Colon is a Mighty Big River:



Here's to the Colorectal Surgeon:



Dave Barry on his colonoscopy. Article here.


From The Simpsons, Homer's colonoscopy:


The Colonoscopy Song - Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul and Mary:


Lou Rawls/Damon Wayans Colonoscopy Exam:


Polyp Man Sings and Dances on Ice (with Lyrics):


Update - Miss Cellania at Neatorama had posted this one a few years ago:
Gastroenterologist Patricia Raymond is also a comedienne known as The Divine Ms. Butt Meddler. Here she sings her way into your ...heart, with a song about what your first colonoscopy will be like. 


The same doctor borrowed the tune from The Street Where You Live from My Fair Lady:
The Hole In Your Rear (from the classic Broadway musical "My Fair Colon")

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Mother****ers (definitely NSFW)

From McSweeney's, originally published October 20, 2009 - they republish it each Autumn:

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I’m going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, “Aren’t those gourds straining your neck?” And I’m just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, “It’s fall, fuckfaces. You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not.”

via
Carving orange pumpkins sounds like a pretty fitting way to ring in the season. You know what else does? Performing an all-gourd reenactment of an episode of Diff’rent Strokes—specifically the one when Arnold and Dudley experience a disturbing brush with sexual molestation. Well, this shit just got real, didn’t it? Felonies and gourds have one very important commonality: they’re both extremely fucking real. Sorry if that’s upsetting, but I’m not doing you any favors by shielding you from this anymore.

The next thing I’m going to do is carve one of the longer gourds into a perfect replica of the Mayflower as a shout-out to our Pilgrim forefathers. Then I’m going to do lines of blow off its hull with a hooker. Why? Because it’s not summer, it’s not winter, and it’s not spring. Grab a calendar and pull your fucking heads out of your asses; it’s fall, fuckers.

Have you ever been in an Italian deli with salamis hanging from their ceiling? Well then you’re going to fucking love my house. Just look where you’re walking or you’ll get KO’d by the gauntlet of misshapen, zucchini-descendant bastards swinging from above. And when you do, you’re going to hear a very loud, very stereotypical Italian laugh coming from me. Consider yourself warned.

For now, all I plan to do is to throw on a flannel shirt, some tattered overalls, and a floppy fucking hat and stand in the middle of a cornfield for a few days. The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer.

Welcome to autumn, fuckheads!