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Friday, August 29, 2014

Friday links

August 29th, 2:14 AM: Skynet Becomes Self-aware.

The Most Amazing Lie in History - the rather fascinating story of the guy who convinced the German army that D-Day wasn't going to happen at Normandy.

Heh - Customer Has Hilarious Norse Mythology-Themed Chat with an Amazon Customer Service Rep.

When Mom and Dad Birds Have Different Migratory Routes, Kids Fly Right Down the Middle.

The Dark Side of Grimms’ Fairy Tales.

Illustrations of Animals Being Built and Colorized by Tiny Figures.

ICYMI, Tuesday's links are here, including everything you ever wanted to know about whale vaginas (and more!), if guy best friends acted like girl best friends, and the woodpecker's guide to avoiding head injuries.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Boob Aid: Japanese porn actresses to take part in 24-hour 'squeeze-a-thon' - proceeds to AIDS research

TOKYO — A group of Japanese porn actresses are preparing to have their breasts squeezed by fans for 24 hours this weekend for a charity event loosely translated as “Boob Aid”.

The nine adult movie stars told local media on Monday they could barely contain their excitement about the “Stop! AIDS” campaign event—which will be televised live—but asked, perhaps somewhat optimistically: please be gentle.

“I’m really looking forward to lots of people fondling my boobs,” Rina Serina told the Tokyo Sports newspaper. “But I would be very happy if you would please be delicate.”

The event, the 12th since its launch in 2003, will be broadcast on adult cable television, with punters donating to the anti-AIDS campaign in exchange for a feel.

It comes after sexist heckling of a Tokyo assemblywoman hit the headlines, highlighting old-fashioned views toward women that still permeate Japanese society.

“I never thought my boobs could contribute to society,” added the ponytailed Serina, apparently unaware of any contradiction.

Fellow porn actress Iku Sakuragi had no qualms about being groped by hundreds of pairs of hands.

“It’s for charity,” said the 21-year-old. “Squeeze them, donate money—let’s be happy.”

The 24-hour “squeeze-a-thon” begins at 8 p.m. on Saturday and is backed by the Japan Foundation for AIDS Prevention.

Heh - Customer Has Hilarious Norse Mythology-Themed Chat with an Amazon Customer Service Rep

According to redditor UranusExplorer, this hilarious Norse mythology-themed chat conversation actually took place between him and an Amazon customer service representative. UranusExplorer initiated the chat after his Amazon package failed to arrive. A representative named Thor responded, and the two discussed the package issue in mythological terms as Thor and Odin.

Come friendly bombs, fall on DC!: For John Betjeman's birthday, here's John Derbyshire's parody of Slough

I have no use for Betjeman (official websitewiki), but was reminded earlier of his birthday and that always puts me in mind of the excellent parody, below. It was written by John Derbyshire, on of my favorite authors and a previous contributor to National Review. He was tossed for political incorrectness, and the poem above was pulled from their site after an hour or so but left available at Derb's site.

For reference, the original poem, Slough, is below the parody.

Come, friendly bombs, fall on D.C.!
It's not fit for humanity.
There's nothing there but villainy.
Swarm over, Death!

Come, bombs, and blow to kingdom come
Those pillared halls of tedium —
Hired fools, hired crooks, hired liars, hired scum,
Hired words, hired breath.

Mess up this mess they call a town —
A seat for twenty million down
And rights to the incumbent's crown
For twenty years.

And get that lobbyist who'll spin
His case to congressmen, who'll win
Amendments, raking fortunes in
For racketeers.

And smash his desk of polished oak
(Paid for by honest working folk
Toiling 'neath taxation's yoke)
And make him yell.

But spare the lesser worker bees,
Federal and private employees,
Working for meager salaries
In government Hell.

It's not their fault they cannot see
How power stifles liberty,
How citizens who once were free
Become enslaved.

From childhood they've been raised to think
That federal power solves everything
They can no longer smell the stink
Of power depraved.

Spare these folk; reserve your fire
For those who wallow in the mire —
That smug, smooth, chauffered, canting choir
Of puffed-up fools.

Come, friendly bombs, fall on D.C.!
Leave it as it used to be:
Potomac winding to the sea
By tree-fringed pools.


Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow.
Swarm over, Death!

Come, bombs and blow to smithereens
Those air -conditioned, bright canteens,
Tinned fruit, tinned meat, tinned milk, tinned beans,
Tinned minds, tinned breath.

Mess up the mess they call a town-
A house for ninety-seven down
And once a week a half a crown
For twenty years.

And get that man with double chin
Who'll always cheat and always win,
Who washes his repulsive skin
In women's tears:

And smash his desk of polished oak
And smash his hands so used to stroke
And stop his boring dirty joke
And make him yell.

But spare the bald young clerks who add
The profits of the stinking cad;
It's not their fault that they are mad,
They've tasted Hell.

It's not their fault they do not know
The birdsong from the radio,
It's not their fault they often go
To Maidenhead

And talk of sport and makes of cars
In various bogus-Tudor bars
And daren't look up and see the stars
But belch instead.

In labour-saving homes, with care
Their wives frizz out peroxide hair
And dry it in synthetic air
And paint their nails.

Come, friendly bombs and fall on Slough
To get it ready for the plough.
The cabbages are coming now;
The earth exhales.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Tuesday links

Video: If Guy Best Friends Acted Like Girl Best Friends.

The True Story Of How France Became McDonald's Most Profitable Country.

The Woodpecker's Guide to Avoiding Head Injuries.

True Facts About Marsupials (PG-13 language) plus bonus Sad Dog Diary.

200-Year-Old Alcohol Found in Shipwreck Is Still Drinkable.

99-Year-Old Lady Sews A Dress A Day For Children In Need.

Getting to Know Whale Vaginas in 7 Steps. Key quote: “You can easily fit your whole arm up in there.”

ICYMI, Friday's links are here, including perfectly timed dog pictures, Orwell reviewing Mein Kampf, the science behind Captain America & the Hulk's superpowers, and stuff you (probably) didn't know about Back To The Future.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Video: Insane Blue Angels Footage Takes You Inside the Cockpit

The Blue Angels (official websitewiki) are the stunt pilots of the United States Navy, and as cool as they look from the ground, it's even better from inside the cockpit.

Watch full screen.

Michael Ashton created this video using US Navy footage.

Navy Cmdr. Tom Frosch, 43, of Clinton Township, Mich.
Navy Lt. Cmdr. John Hiltz, 34, of Fort Mitchell, Ky.
Navy Lt. Cmdr. Nate Barton, 33, of Hummelstown, Pa.
Marine Major Brandon Cordill, 33, of Hemet, Calif.
Navy Lt. Cmdr. David Tickle, 32, of Birmingham, Ala.
Navy Lt. Mark Tedrow, 31, of Charleroi, Penn.

Passenger : LCDR Jim Hiltz, USCG
Editing and Post : Michael Ashton

Anchors Aweigh - Charles A. Zimmerman 
Jack Conte - Daft Punk Skrillex Remix