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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Reverend Al Sharpton Takes Time Off From Holy Duties To Make TV Appearance

Taking a break from his busy schedule of pastoral duties, the Rev. Al Sharpton set aside time Monday evening to make an appearance on a cable news channel, sources have confirmed. “Given his professional obligations and personal devotion to spreading the Gospel, we were simply thrilled that the reverend was able to find time for us and come on our show,” television producer Sophie Josten said of the 59-year-old Baptist clergyman, who when not conducting a worship service, ministering to the sick, or teaching a seminar at a local divinity school reportedly prefers to spend his time sequestered in silent prayer. “After we showed him how to speak into his microphone properly and told him which camera to look into, he took to it like a pro, generously sharing his views on any topic that came up during the broadcast. He left in a hurry though, no doubt to spend his evening offering one-on-one spiritual counseling to members of his congregation, but we’re sure glad he was able to fit us in.” Sources close to the reverend confirmed that after quickly reprising his role as a guest host on WWE Raw, Sharpton’s next stop would be the hospice where he volunteers as a chaplain.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Unleash the Heisenberg! In this new trailer, Godzilla has really pissed off Bryan Cranston

The good news is that Heisenberg has healed and his hair has grown back.  The bad news is Godzilla.

Watch full screen.

Previous post: the Godzilla size chart.

via io9.

Tuesday links

Why Science-Fiction Writers Are So Good at Predicting the Future.

Here's Matt Groening, creator of The Simpsons, with his sisters Maggie and Lisa in a 1969 film made by his father, Homer.

Why the Same Side of the Moon Always Faces the Earth.

21 Famous Actors Who Quietly Voiced Cartoon Characters.

ICYMI, Friday's links, including Dave Barry's Manliness Manifesto and 22 Before And After Pictures Of Animals Growing Up, are here.

If you read one thing today: Ghostbusters: greatest movie ever made about small-government economic policy

Go read the whole thing at Quartz.  Excerpts:

The death yesterday of Harold Ramis, the co-writer and co-star of Ghostbusters, has prompted encomiums for the iconic 1980's film.

Ghostbusters is a favorite of mine as well. But I just can’t believe how few people recognize the movie—which was released 30 years ago this June—for what it is: a Reaganite carnival of ideological triumph.

Ghostbusters isn’t about ghosts. (Well, it kind of is.) But it’s also about the power of the US private sector and the magic of market discipline to transform anyone—even effete, over-educated academics—into heroes. Just watch.

Even the most obtuse Ghostbusters fanboy has to concede one thing. The real villain in Ghostbusters isn’t Gozer the Gozerian. It’s a bureaucrat from the Environmental Protection Agency. Seriously, it’s the government—specifically the federal government. Dangerously ignorant of what it takes to run a small business, Peck—played by William Atherton, the Laurence Olivier of prickish ’80s movie antagonists (see Die Hard)—cuts the power supply to the containment unit where Aykroyd & Company store their busted specters. The politics of this scene couldn’t be more clear.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Product of the day at Amazon: temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia (read the reviews)

My New Pink Button (tm) is a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia. There is no other product like it. 

This patent pending formula was designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician after she discovered her own genital color loss. While looking online for a solution she discovered thousands of other women asking the same questions regarding their color loss. After countless searches revealing no solution available and a discussion with her own gynecologist she decided to create her own. Now there is a solution!

Ave atque vale Harold Ramis (aka Egon from Ghostbusters, among other things), age 69

He was the main writer of the Ghostbusters movies, and director/co-writer of Groundhog Day and National Lampoon's Vacationamong others. More at The Guardian and at IMDB.

A typical bit of writing:

[Egon is running tests on Louis, who has been possessed by Gozer and is now the Keymaster] 

Dr. Egon Spengler: Vinz, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for? 

Louis: Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

Sunday, February 23, 2014

How to Care for a Newborn: Advice From 1254

The Cholmondeley Ladies, c. 1600-1610
I'm always trying to convince my kids and grandkids that the old ways are frequently the best, but this may be going a little too far back: 
“After the woman has delivered the child, you should know how to take care of the child. Know that as soon as the child is born, it should be wrapped in crushed roses mixed with fine salt… And when one wishes to swaddle [the baby], the members should be gently couched and arranged so as to give them a good shape, and this is easy for a wise nurse; for just as wax when it is soft takes whatever form one wishes to give to it, so also the child takes the form which its nurses give to it. And for this reason, you should know that beauty and ugliness are due in large measure to nurses. And when its arms are swaddled, and the hands over the knees, and the head lightly swaddled and covered, let it sleep in the cradle.”
~Aldobrandino of Siena, Regimen for the Body (1254), tr. Faith Wallis
Via Ask The Past: Don’t worry: caring for a newborn is as easy as curing a ham. Just salt it with some aromatics, arrange it nicely, and wait for it to age.

Related: How to Change a Diaper, 1612 
"If hee bee very foule, shee may wash him with a little water and wine luke-warme, with a spunge or linnen cloth"

Cool: Matt Groening, creator of The Simpsons, in 1969 film with sisters Maggie and Lisa, made by his father Homer

The Story” is a short film starring Maggie, Lisa, and Matt Groening (wiki), who would go on to create The Simpsons (wiki).  The film was shot by their father Homer in 1969. In the film Lisa recounts an adventure that she and Matt have in the woods. 

Homer Groening worked in advertising but found time to make cartoons and write stories with his children. Matt talks about “The Story” and how he was influenced by Homer in this 2012 interview with Smithsonian Magazine (see excerpt below the video)

From the interview cited above:
My father was a really sharp cartoonist and filmmaker. He used to tape-record the family surreptitiously, either while we were driving around or at dinner, and in 1963 he and I made up a story about a brother and a sister, Lisa and Matt, having an adventure out in the woods with animals. I told it to my sister Lisa, and she in turn told it to my sister Maggie. My father recorded the telling of the story by Lisa to Maggie, and then he used it as the soundtrack to a movie. So the idea of dramatizing the family—Lisa, Maggie, Matt—I think was the inspiration for doing something kind of autobiographical with “The Simpsons.” There is an aspect of the psychodynamics of my family in which it makes sense that one of us grew up and made a cartoon out of the family and had it shown all over the world.
via Dangerous Minds

Cell phone video of the filming of Sharknado 2 in the streets of New York

As I'm sure everyone knows, Sharknado was set in LA, but apparently Sharknado 2: The Second One will be set in Manhattan.

  'Sharknado 2' in NYC -- Actors ... More Deadly Than the Fishes

Related: This trailer for Zombeavers makes Sharknado look realistic and well acted.