Monday links

November 5 is Guy Fawkes Day: God preserved us from the "secret contrivance and hellish malice of Popish Conspirators".

Man uses teeth to pull 677-ton cargo ship.

Telegraph operators were the first to know news of the Civil War, which arrived in code. Related: how the breaking news spread in 1776.

Political maps of the United States from 1850 and 1880.

The Nazi Werewolves Who Terrorized Allied Soldiers at the End of WWII. 

Lab-Made Whiskey and Wine.

ICYMI, Friday's links are here, and include Daylight Saving Time history (including Ben Franklin's satirical proposal), the science of chocolate, personal eating knives if Medieval Europe, 16th century eyebrow interpretation, and that time Supreme Court Justice Rehnquist proposed to Supreme Court Justice O'Connor.

It's the birthday of H.L. Mencken, noted curmudgeon, satirist, and political and cultural critic

I believed then, as I believe now, that it is the prime function of a really first-rate newspaper to serve as a sort of permanent opposition in politics, and I tried to show that the Sun, because of its geographical situation, had a superb opportunity to discharge that function effectively. Baltimore was but forty miles from Washington — and the Washington papers were all third-rate, and seemed doomed to remain so forever, for the overwhelming majority of their readers were petty Federal jobholders, which is to say, half-wits. 

~ H. L. Mencken (wiki) (Thirty-five Years of Newspaper Work: A Memoir by H. L. Mencken)

All of the great patriots now engaged in edging and squirming their way toward the Presidency of the Republic run true to form. This is to say, they are all extremely wary, and all more or less palpable frauds. What they want, primarily, is the job; the necessary equipment of (inescapable) issues, immutable principles, and soaring ideals can wait until it becomes more certain which way the mob will be whooping.

~ Mencken (On Politics: A Carnival of Buncombe) 

Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods. 

~ Mencken (A Mencken Chrestomathy*)

Democracy is the theory that holds that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard. 

~ Mencken (A Little Book in C Major)

Variously attributed:

Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in. 

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. 

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil. 

Mencken is fictionalized in the play Inherit the Wind
(a fictionalized version of the Scopes Monkey Trial of 1925)
as the cynical sarcastic atheist E. K. Hornbeck (right),
seen here as played by Gene Kelly

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. 

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. 

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. 

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. 

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground. 

No one in this world, so far as I know - and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me - has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. 

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. 

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. 

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. 

September 12 is the anniversary of the birth of "the Sage of Baltimore," American journalist, critic, and philologist H(enry) L(ouis) Mencken (wiki) (1880-1956). Perhaps the closest U.S. counterpart to England's Dr. Samuel Johnson, Mencken was a grumpy, hard-drinking, cantankerous curmudgeon, whose political insights, cruel wit, and incisive prose still excite admiration today. 

Born in Baltimore the son of a cigar-maker, Mencken was largely self-educated and started as a reporter for the Baltimore Morning Herald at the age of 19. By 1905, he was the editor of the Evening Herald and then moved on to Baltimore's Sun papers, for which he worked for most of the rest of his life. In 1924, he co-founded and edited the influential literary magazine, The American Mercury, while turning out a series of books based on his political columns and supplementing his monumental treatise, The American Language, whose first volume had appeared in 1919. Mencken continued working in journalism as late as World War II; he died of heart-failure in 1956. 

* N.B. A chrestomathy (mid 19th century: from Greek khrēstomatheia, from khrēstos ‘useful’ + -matheia ‘learning.’ is a collection of selected literary passages, usually by the same author. 

On June 30th, 1948, the Library of Congress made a recorded interview of H.L. Mencken. It is one of the only recordings of his voice in existence:

Wednesday links

Physics of superheroes: Batman's powers questioned by scientists.

The History of Revolving Restaurants.

Traditional Japanese Spider Fighting.

Really bad book covers (and books).

Joel Slater, the Stateless Man.

Operation Acoustic Kitty: Cold War attempt to eavesdrop via transmitters implanted into cats. 

ICYMI, Monday's links are here, and include the summer solstice, the economics of peeing in the shower, healthy summer advice from 1656, state liquor law history, and what will happen if GPS fails.

Robert Reich on Why Cruz is more dangerous than Trump is the best Cruz commercial EVER!

I have to admit that I've been paying little attention to the details of this election season - I've had the disgusted sense that Hillary is inevitable, and that probably either Trump, Rubio, or Kasich would end up on the Republican ticket, I can't muster any enthusiasm since I'd probably end up holding my nose and voting for the lesser of two weasels. It's the same way I've felt for several election cycles - a plague on both their houses.

But Robert Reich, Bernie supporter and former Labor Secretary under Clinton (at Forbes, read Robert Reich's F Minus In Economics: False Facts, False Theories) may just have convinced me otherwise. Reich's attempt to persuade fellow socialists that Cruz in dangerous to their worldview may have resulted in the best pro-Ted Cruz campaign commercial ever made. 

Reich's main point is that, from his socialist perspective, Cruz is much more dangerous that Trump, who he sees as an opportunist with no fixed principles. Cruz, however, to Reich's horror:

Believes the Second Amendment gives individual Americans the right to possess guns! 

Is a strict constitutionalist! 

Rejects immigration reform! 

Wants to repeal Obamacare! 

Is more disciplined and strategic than Trump!

Is willing to destroy institutions (a euphemism for gigantic, bloated bureaucracies)

via Bookworm Room, which also has this excellent post: I don’t like Bernie because he’s a socialist.

Heh - Americans with No Abilities Act advocates for those who lack any skills or ambition

Washington, DC – Congressional Democrats are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

These two non-abled Americans have
become millionaires

‘Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,’ said California Senator Barbara Boxer. ‘We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.’

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D) pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.

Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement ‘warehouse’ stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

Under The Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million ‘middle man’ positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, ‘Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?’

‘As a Non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,’ said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan , due to her inability to remember ‘rightey tightey, lefty loosey.’ ‘This new law should be real good for people like me,’ Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): ‘As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so. ”